“Linzhi she….she wants to take part in the Imperial Consort contest, she wants to marry Prince Jianning,” An Qinxu finally blurted out after a long period of silence.
The “Linzhi” he was talking about was Murong Linzhi, the daughter of scholar Murong Chun and also An Qingxu’s junior classmate. Both of them studied medicine together and were taught for a period of time by Zhangsun E who was the best physician in the country.
“Then let her take part, you’re just her senior, why are you poking your nose in her business?” Zhenzhu wondered, a little surprised about his reply.
“No! I don’t want her to take part!” An Qingxu argued, all the muscles in his face were taunt with frustration and pain. His horse, which was tied to the large tree next to them tried to pull free, leaving a mark on the bark. Suddenly, it dawned on Zhenzhu what he meant.
“Second Brother An, I encourage you to let her do as she wishes. As Miss Murong has decided to take part in the contest, then there is nothing that can change the outcome. Even if there was no Imperial Consort choosing contest, do you think Scholar Murong would give his daughter to you when he and your father have differing political views?”
“As long as Linzhi is willing, then I can leave everything behind. I can take her somewhere, where we can start afresh and live our own lives,” An Qingxu vowed as he pressed his lips together.
“Would she be willing though?” Shen Zhenzhu pointed out, before picking up a pebble and throwing it into the distance.
An Qingxu shook his head, “She told me that she is fond of Prince Jianning, she has liked him ever since she saw him last year at the Dragon Boat Race.” He then turned around to ask Zhenzhu, “Zhenzhu, I don’t understand, Linzhi and I have known each other for so many years. She feels nothing except what a junior feels towards a senior when it comes to me, yet she can easily fall for someone whom she has just met.”
“I don’t understand,” he repeated looking vacantly into the distance.
His words left a bitterness in her heart for some reason however she concealed it by teasing him,” I don’t know why you like Miss Murong so much.”
“It’s because…,”he begun, happiness flashing across his face, “it’s a secret.” He quickly changed the subject, “I heard that you are returning to Wuxin tomorrow.”
Shen Zhenzhu replied with an “um” as corroboration to his statement and heard him reply, “I’m sorry but I won’t be able to see you off tomorrow. I’ve decided to return to Fang Yang tonight.”
“Why are you going to Fang Yang for?”
“To beg Father to ask Lord Murong for his daughter’s hand in marriage. I want to marry her before the Imperial family does. This is the first favour I have asked him, he must do this for me!”
Upon hearing that, Shen Zhenzhu felt herself let out a gasp of surprise. Of course, it would be so difficult to persuade An Qingxu to give up now. After all, he had always been rebellious. She could only pray that he would not do anything that turned the world upside down.
She opened her palm and a ray of sunshine shone down onto a round sparkling object, a pearl. She picked up the pearl and showed An Qingxu. “Surely you haven’t forgotten right? Back then when you gave this pearl to me, you said that when I returned this pearl to you, I can ask you to do three things for me!”
An Qingxu took back the pearl, its gentle sparkle had a soft radiance, finally like a semicircle that has come together, the world’s most beautiful pearl had returned to its owner. Many years ago on a cold night, when his mother breathed out her final breath this pearl lay against her chest. Even now, it seemed as if it still carried her warmth.
His face turned serious as he raised his head and looked worryingly at Shen Zhenzhu, afraid that she would stop him from returning to Fang Yang. “Once the words leave a gentleman’s mouth, even four horses can’t chase it back. Tell me what you want!”
“Alright! The first thing I want is for you to tour the capital with me!”
He felt himself release a sigh of relief and immediately agreed. “Alright! I will take you wherever you want!”
Immediately, Shen Zhenzhu climbed onto her horse before glancing in the distance. “I only wish for us to gallop as freely as we did just now.”
The day got later and later, as the bitter night wind howled against her cheeks as they galloped through the barren fields she thought, “Could this be life? To gallop madly and then to gallop madly even more.”
In a desolate small building, under the dim flickering candlelight and ancient scrolls a woman’s clear voice could be heard, “Do you truly wish to marry into an ordinary family? Have a good think about it, after all you are an Imperial bride candidate.” Outside the steps had not been swept for a long time and mould had started to flourish.
She replied hesitantly, “At the moment, evil is in power, no laws are governing the country, I fear there is nothing I can do….”
“Because of that reason, surely you do not want to let someone decide y your fate for you and walk the same path I have done? As a daughter of a noble family, even if you marry into a normal family, do you think there will be less conflict? In three to five years’ time, I am sure that something terrible will happen. When a nest is overturned[1]…cough….cough…..”she coughed out.
“But Mistress….do you really wish to push me towards a place beyond redemption?” she croaked out.
She was met with a long period of silence before the woman finally opened her mouth to speak again. “I, am not begging you, or forcing you, rather with your temperament, are you the sort to live a life of normality, and let everything wash past you, whether good or bad, or are you someone who will meet every challenge head onwards and do everything you can to overcome it? Although the future is bleak but with your intelligence, would it truly be impossible? Think about it….and the Emperor’s attitude to the Crown Prince…..”the woman lowered her voice further, almost to an inaudible whisper, “although he is suspicious towards him, but His Majesty dotes on Prince Guangping….and only you….can truly support him to get what he wants….”
Prince Guangping….the eldest grandson of the Emperor…..the future Crown Prince…the future….Son of Heaven….
She still remained undecided. “You met Prince Guangping ten years ago. The person who saved your life back then….was him…not me.”
“I will be waiting for you here between 1pm to 3pm on the third day of the third month for your answer. If….you do not come, I will take it that you agree with my proposal….”her voice disappeared into the night and the sound of the thumping hooves of the horses.
It was almost seven in the evening before Zhenzhu and Qingxu finally returned to Chang’an city. When he took her back to the Shen Manor, she noticed that she was still filled high-spirited, her cheeks slightly flushed and her eyes shone brightly as if tears were hiding within them. But when he looked closer, it didn’t seem as if she did. “Zhenzhu, you seem to be very happy today!” he observed with surprise.
“Yes!” she replied with a nod. Why wouldn’t she be? Because after today she will never have a day like today where her life belonged to herself, where she could do whatever she liked. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after, she would have swum to another side of the world and hopefully her heart could be as boundless and limitless as the Taihu lake in her hometown.
“But…I feel that your happiness is a little strange today.”
“Really?” she asked as she gave him a smile that was as bright and beautiful as a firework display in a cold, midnight sky. It was as if he was captivated by her beauty but not knowing when it had begun. Meanwhile, Shen Zhenzhu had already entered the Shen Manor and the vermillion door[2] slammed shut behind her.
[1] When a nest is overturned, no eggs can survive the fall: This is a traditional Chinese saying that means when someone makes a serious mistake, everyone who is involved with them are impacted by it.
[2] A vermillion/red door is often the colour for most ancient Chinese homes for the rich. It means “welcome” in Fengshui. Ancient Chinese and some Chinese nowadays believe that the door is the mouth of the Qi/Chi where energy enters. Painting it red would create good energy within the household.
Productive Procrastination 